New Flashfic: Tangential

by distractingdelusions

As promised, here’s a new flash fiction piece for you all. As well as appearing in this post, I’ll stick it up on the Pinboard. Anyway, this one’s odd and definitely not for everyone due to sexual references and… well, I’m not going to spoil the end.

You have been warned:

Tangential

 

‘Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I were gay. Men are such arseholes, you know, but I’m just not attracted to other women. See, I  spent most of my teenage years at this girl’s-only boarding school my parents sent me to after this thing happened with my brother… but you don’t need to know about that. The point is, girls and women can be just as awful as boys and men; trust me, they are.

‘Maybe I’m asexual. Maybe one day I’ll be masturbating and another, me, will just appear beside me, fully formed. I don’t know really. The whole concept of sex confuses me. Why involve someone else and all their problems in my life when I can get what I really want from my hand, or a dildo?

‘Only those two, mind. Hand or dildo, vibrators freak me out.

‘I heard about this one girl, back at school, she used to have one of those old-fashioned, solid plastic ones you had to plug in at the wall – probably a family heirloom, or something. Anyway, she dropped it and part of the casing cracked. The next time she used it, well, I wouldn’t have wanted to be the headmistress when she had to explain that one to the parents at the hospital. You can call me a prude if you like, but putting something inside me that could lead to vaginal burns? Heck,  the idea appeals even less than my brother’s sweaty little meat-stick did that time he tried to shove it in me just before I stabbed him.

‘Anyway, I’ve been talking for quite a while now, but I still haven’t answered your question, have I? Um, well, I think I only had the one glass, officer; is the kid I hit all right?’

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