Brain Dump

by distractingdelusions

So, it strikes me that I started this blog to encourage myself to write more. And I did, for a while. Those of you that have been following me for the past ten and a  bit months may remember that I started by posting a short story every Friday. It was fun for a while. But really it was just a way to keep me going. To keep writing.

I lose focus easily.

It’s not that I have terribly important things to do, and it’s certainly not because of any medical reason. I do not have ADHD or ADD. I do not have a valid excuse for why my mind wanders, it just does. I started doing Kickstart The Week at the beginning of August and, looking at the facts, I haven’t done one of those in over a month.

I don’t know why.

I have the time in the evenings once I’m home from another dull day at the office. [Yes, I have an office job now. No, it’s not what I really want to be doing. Yes, I need to do it in order to support my family. How does the song go, ‘Sick of not living to stay alive’?But I don’t have the inclination at the moment. There are projects out there I love, but…

No reason.

I’ve just received edits back for a story I wrote months ago and I’m sort of excited for it. But I’m now looking at something I wrote back in April and I realise that, whilst I have been writing, I haven’t really completed that many things since then. Sure, I got a part-time job in June that had weird hours and leeched all my energy (though I did write a two-page comic, which was fun). The kids were on summer holiday so I didn’t have much quiet time, and when I did I just wanted to relax. Then I got the office job at the end of August, which started quietly. But a combination of the (already) freezing weather and increasingly late trains at home time (on average, 25-35 minutes late) killed my creative urge.

I feel like I should be hibernating for the winter.

I have things to write. Things to draw (badly). Reviews to write  (I was going to review The Newsroom, remember? Um: It’s good. Preachy & Sorkiny, but good. #reviewends). So, I needed to write this post to remind myself that all these stupid excuses, listed above, are just that. Excuses.

There is always a reason not to write, but the reason is not always right.

[Yay - I just made up a rubbish motivational quote!]

I apologise for the self-indulgent whininess of this post. It’s junk. But it’s junk I need to get out of my head. I need to re-focus and re-capture the creative spirit I had at the beginning of this year. Posting this is a reminder to myself that procrastination is the mother of all failures. I need to shake this idiocy and just get on with what I want to do, as well as doing the other things that I need to do to support my family. Both of these things can happen at the same time. Both of these things will happen at the same time.

Sorry for the brain-dump. Thank you for reading if you made it this far.

Abnormal service will resume shortly.

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